February 6, 2012 / Funny / 2 comments
There is some couple which is annoying you, but somehow you get stuck with them, because they are relatives or something like that. Since you can’t do anything to annoy them as much as they do you, the best solution is to buy to their lovely child a gift like this. The child will love it and parents will hate it, it will drive them crazy. I am proudly presenting you 10 most annoying toys for children, and if you just one of these weapons (because these are not toys, these are weapons for mass destruction) enters your house, you will never sleep again, you are doomed. If you buy this to your child, than I strongly recommend you a visit to a therapist, because you are suicidal.
1. LeapFrog Alphabet Pal
Looks friendly, but don’t be fooled! This toy if left unattended chirps up periodically on its own, possibly from the corner of the living room: “Thanks for playing with leap frog!”
2. Sing A Ma Jigs
Just a bunch of little furry fellows that harmonize when you press their bellies at the same time. Sounds harmless but this is not a good idea, trust me. Be careful and don’t get the one that sings successive words of Peter Cottontail each time you press his belly. Seriously. Don’t.
3. Zhu Zhu Pets
If you ask me, even the idea of battery operated hamsters doesn’t sound good. Nor do all of the various accompanying parts which comprise entire cities in which they dwell. These plastic rodents are prone to getting caught underneath your furniture. No good. Did I mention they make shrill noises each time you walk by said furniture thanks to built-in motion sensors? Didn’t think so.
4. Toy Microphones
Ah yes. The toy microphone.See, every kid is trilled with the sound of his or her own voice. And when you amplify that voice, you amplify the delight. Which means if you have more than one child, there’s bound to be fighting. You know, because delightful experiences are highly desirable and all. And while the fighting is enough to drive you crazy, it’s nothing compared to the high-pitched screeches that come out of the speaker, poorly disguised as Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
5. Chicken Dance Elmo
Elmo wants to be a chicken, Elmo wants to be a duck. Quack, quack, quack, quack. Well which is it? Does he wanna be a duck or chicken? He’s quacking, so I assume he wants to be a duck, yet he’s also dressed in a chicken costume which would indicate a poultry preference. So why the duck is he quacking?
6. Pirate Bomb Slime
It’s the suggestive quality of the name that makes this gift so devastating in the hands of your enemies’ children.
7. Poppin’ Park Elefun Busy Ball Popper
Plays delightful music; shoots balls around the room (“It’s anyone’s guess which way they’ll roll!”): What’s not to love?
8. Toy-smith Multi Voice Changer
No need for any further explanations. It applies everything as for the microphone, with an exception.This is more fun! Your voice can sound different!
9. Bop It Extreme
Your child will beg, and after giving about $175, you’ll be crying. “Kids love the original Bop It, an electronic toy that challenges response time to pull, twist, and bop different parts of the toy. The extreme version adds two more tasks, more sounds, and a taunting, smart-aleck announcer who directs the game.”
And speaking of high-pitched screeches, the recorder emits plenty of those. If only they were a couple of octaves higher a la a dog whistle, parents wouldn’t be able to hear such atrocities. But high pitches aren’t the only similarity between recorders and toy microphones. For both are wildly entertaining, but only to the little person who currently possesses it.